I had an experience that literally changed the course of my life and made me who I am today.
Let me start with how I thought at one time. I used to think God did not care about me and that he did not exist but, I now feel much more settled about those feelings.
I thought of myself as useless, unwanted, used and an abused individual, although, all these things had taken place throughout my life they were mostly due to influences of others. I was going through my daily life wanting happiness as I was bending over backwards for others and while I filled their wants needs and desires mine were not being filled, which left me feeling used, abused, dirty and ashamed. After all these events took place I had to repent and surrender my life to God. I turned to God and gave him everything and I stopped pursuing everything on my own. I told God I am yours use me, fill me, complete me and deliver me what you feel I deserve when you feel the timing is right, not what’s on my agenda. I gave God the steering wheel and allowed him to turn it. I let go of everything, I thanked him for where I was. I enjoyed and loved what I had at the moment even if it wasn’t much, the most important thing was that I was able to focus on was my two children. I now see Jesus as my father that I can go to any time of the day or night. When I had this change happen to me I started to spend more time in His word. Since then I have learned that I can lean into him, versus others.
Show me… Something that I’m asking for these days is for God to show me how I can make an impact in others lives?
I have endured countless things that have been thrown upon me. Including one particular day, the day I asked God a question.